Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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