i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
