i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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