So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
