Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
