it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize