Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
