The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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