So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
