would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
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Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
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I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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