I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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