in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
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I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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