Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
