just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
