You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
