college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
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searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
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Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
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