sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
