Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
