My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
