An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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