I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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