Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
