dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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