strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
