So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
What a dumb baby whore.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
