That's intense
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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