yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
