shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
