that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
