I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
