awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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