Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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