it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
