dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize