My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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