Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
