What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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