Can i not drive my cunt home
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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