you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
