8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize