a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
