sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
