It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
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You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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