Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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