We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize