i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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