Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
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