We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Randomize