The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
