Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
