Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
