kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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