I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
