Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
