You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
