i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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