found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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