butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Randomize
