Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
